Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
