She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize