So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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