I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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