I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize