She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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