Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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