pedialite and red bull = repair kit
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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