Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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