Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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