You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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