I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
