I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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