"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
