the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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