You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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