Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
