The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
