But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
