So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
