Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
