Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
