I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
