New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
