You made me cry and you don't even care
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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