Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
