You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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