you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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