While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
