My entire life is one complicated drinking game
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
