you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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