Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
