what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize