Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

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(+61): View more from Australia

This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..

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