ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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