Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
