You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
