no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
