He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
