____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
