Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
