Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
