There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
