You really coming over, don't trick.
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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