so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
