Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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