Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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