She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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