Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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