I didn't shave. On purpose
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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