look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize