i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
