Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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