Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
