i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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