Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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