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how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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