What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
