Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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