i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize