I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
