how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
