i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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