Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
