That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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