I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
