Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
