Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This gyro tastes like lonliness
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sext me about skeletons
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
