I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
