wrigley field is MILF paradise
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
