I never want to see another naked old woman again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
