just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
