I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
