I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
