apparently the secret to your success is patron
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
