Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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