quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
