I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
