I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
