I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
