did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
