Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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