The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
