The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
