It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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